I want to move to Mataelpino

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

-- Dr. Johnson

Introduction

I was not born in Spain, I lived in 2 different countries before moving to Spain in 2017, so I should be grateful that I left the 3rd world and moved to a 1st world country. As now I am used to the 1st world, I am now affected to so-called "1st world problems". But my "wholesaler intellect" doesn't allow me to care a lot about having low battery or slow internet because I was born in Venezuela. I almost never complaing about many things because I don't really give a fuck.

Now I live in Madrid, capital city of Spain, this city is garbage, I have already talked a bit about the situation in this country. To summarize, the city does not work.

The problems of Madrid (and cities in general)

The difference between the civilized man and the primitive man is that the primitive man was a nomad being and the civilized man stays at the same place always, now this is a lie because more than half a million people move to another province to get to work.

To see the problem, first I have to introduce Sierra Leone (Intercambiador de Moncloa) and Democratic Republic of the Congo (Plaza de Castilla). These are the bus stations you use to go to the most liminal places of Madrid, I like more the North of the Madrid, but there's nothing wrong with the south.

If you work in another province and you're too poor to have a car1 you have to take a bus, and to take a bus you have to take the metro or the dreaded Cercanias, which are like a literal trains that take you to Point A to Point B, usually Point A is Madrid and Point B is another city on the Community of Madrid (or vice versa). Or maybe you just want to take the Cercanis to go from the Airport to Nuevos Ministerios. Thing is that it saves you time. In theory

The metro works, it just works, almost never fails you, it's the old reliable of Madrid, If I could I would put a [redacted] in Cercanias offices. Thing with Cercanias is that it is fucking awful, it never works, trains are always late, and I don't mean 2 minutes late, I mean 15 minutes (at least) late. I don't even bother on checking the app that says the schedule of the trains because it's always wrong. It isn't even an estimate. Now I just leave home and put my soul and body on the Great Lord. When you get the train and you think the pain is over, you're wrong. Because the train may as well stop for 20 minutes in Chamartín and 20 minutes wasted, the oligophrenic Cercanias machinist will say "We have a train breakdown". My question is, why couldn't you say that 20 minutes earlier?

So, if you took the Metro you made it at time to Plaza de Castilla, you can take the 7 a.m. bus to Point B. You can take the bus, right?

You fool! You forgot that Plaza de Castilla is the Democratic Republic of Congo, there are, by eye, 80 persons waiting to take a bus with less than 40 seats. So if you're the last on that queue, you'll see how the bus driver forsakes you and you get late to work. Next bus will be in 20 minutes.

How to solve this? It's extremely easy, I don't know how our politicians have not come with this solution. We put buses each 10 minutes instead of every 20 minutes, you know what would happen if we did this? Many things, first the station will not be collapsed with people because there are more buses so people don't have to camp in the bus dock. You know what else would happen? Unemployment would be lower because the State would have to hire more bus drivers to drive these more buses, less unemployment means more people working and thus more people with purchasing power, so it would stimulate the economy in general. You can use this solution for almost any problem in any country. You can also do this with the public health, many Spanish medics are leaving the country because they cannot find a job at the social security.

Which reminds me that time I was really sick, I'm the kind of person who waits until I get cured because my inmune system is epic or until I die, whichever comes first. But this time I was feeling extremely sick because I was coughing more than normal, so I went to the Health Center™ because I'm a Spanish citizen who has a right to get medical asistence. Thing is that I went to the health center and I was not attended because Community of Madrid bureaucracy. So I remembered I have a private health insurance. So I went to the private hospital and surprisingly I got attended. Medic told me that I have healthy lungs though.

Social security is a Tax™ so you're absolutely fucking forced to pay it. If you get a private health insurance (because the public healthcare is a bad joke), you cannot deduct it from your tax declaration.

Now, let's talk about Madrid and its people. I have shitted on the Government already, enough of that.

Why Madrid (and every city) sucks balls.

First things first, I'm glad Madrid is not a skyscraper city. I see pictures of Chicago and I think holy shit I'm glad I don't live there. There are literally only 4 skyscrapers in Madrid I can see through my window, and let's be honest, those are pretty epic.

One day Ice Cube said: "Just wakin' up in the mornin', gotta thank God - [...] - No barkin' from the dog ". Well, in my case my "good days" begin when I wake up and the first thing I hear through the window is not the sirens coming from an ambulance and 2 cops car. Those are pretty good days, but they're usually the first thing I see in the morning. And those are not good ways to start the day.

Then if I end up in that town in a Friday afternoon, I must go back to Moncloa because I will not drive high (i don't have a car anyways). When you get back to Moncloa at a Friday night you can say your prayers. Because you'll see everything, like drunk goth chicks smoking in the Metro telling everyone about all the dicks they have sucked, this is not me having delusions, this actually happened to me one day. At that moment I was literally Patrick Bateman.

The metro could be a lot less noiser to be completely honest, but it is absolutely never late.

Small towns are epic

The people in Madrid are city people, they don't know anything about you nor they want to know. They don't care about their peers. In small towns, they do. All they do is to watch TikToks, care about new product, and do whatever they're told to do, I don't want to live a life like this, I want to move to a liminal town in the Mountains of Madrid in which I can be free, I can have my garden with my plants and stuff. A place in which my children can play with a lot of nature, and my extremely epic computer setup because I not against technology but against the excessive advancement (and almost always extremely unnecesary) of technology. I don't mind having a slow internet connection because I'll be doing other stuff with my life.

It is good to leave your house and the first thing you see are some cute trees and grass rather than the city smog and 40 cars passing by.

I don't really know why people like cities, if we humans are social beings, why do we live in a part of civilization which divides us and makes us antisocial beings? One day, a friend of mine told me something very true "If you live in a small town, you'll get the perception of the people, if you live in a big city, you'll get the perception of society". This is true, I feel like in small towns people just want to be themselves and in big cities people just want to be whatever TikTok or Instagram says, but hey, this is just my experience, maybe I'm just a faggot because the city is too much for me, maybe i'm just antisocial and claustrophobic because I don't like seeing 80 people inside a bus with 40 seats. Maybe I should kill myself because I want to move to a small town with money I got from a Cannabis Social Club. But, at fucking least, I have never opened TikTok in my life.

Another thing that I enjoy a lot and I cannot do in the city is walking in the nature, nothing else, just walking, in a town you have groves and shit, in the city you have a grove made of buildings rather than trees, which fucking sucks. I can walk a lot in just one night and it will be the best nights of my life despite I did nothing. Maybe I can play the guitar, but I don't have any grove near my home. All I have is The Trunk.

Another good thing about liminal towns is that they're way more cheaper. Renting and buying houses it's way cheaper than in the city for obvious reasons, so you can save both money and mental health by living in a small town. I'm not Luke Smith either though, I still need to go to a supermarket because I will grow plants, but those plants do not give food, exactly.

And I could also breath oxygen instead of 9-MeO-Nitrogen, which is what we have in Madrid.


  1. A car is expensive, a bank wouldn't mind having your soul for a car, but to get a car first you have to get the drivers license which can be, if you never fail, at least 900 euros, because of classes, and Official DGT Theoric and Practic Exams™ ↩


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