In the infinite search for wanting to be cool online, “humans” created the Gemini protocol as an alternative to the “bloatted” HTTP protocol. And they created an alternative protocol to deliver text over wires. The gemini protocol was created not to fix the problems of HTTP but to “create a whole new web”.

This is retarded. The problem with the internet is not the protocol. It’s the fact that any idiot can come here and say whatever. The problem is not how the HTTP delivers text. The problem is how users use that text.

Some people might say “but in gemini/gopher” there’s no JavaScript!! yeah no shit man. Guess what. Gemini/Gopher just transfer text so if someone wants to implement JavaScript in a Gemini client. They will do it because there’s nothing holding them against that. What now?

I’m going to spit a fact that will make Drew DeVault put his hands on his head: The internet does not move on goodness. It moves on MONEY, All we ever cared about was on making money! And Gemini, as according by this same dude is garbage¹. Can you name a Gemini browser? I can. Kristall. Like the hoe from The Boondocks. The browser itself is unusable garbage. I’d try the browser for this blog post but the only gemini site alive (Drew’s site) is down so I cannot try it. If anyone knows another gemini site please email me so I can update this post: diego (at) suragu (dot) net.

Does gemini actually improves anything? No. it is a downgrade. The way that a downgrade from HTTP to Gemini differs from an industrial society to a agriculture society is that industrial society has done a lot of harm while HTTP is just a consequence of it.

According to Drew views of “The Future”. You’d have to use a browser which cannot even connect to gemini sites, have no CSS and no interaction whatsoever (at this point why don’t we download blogposts through FTP or rsync?). And it only gets worse because according to the Wikipedia, Gemini does not want to replace Gopher or HTTP.

Then why the fuck does this shit exist? As an alternative to HTTP? Yeah, I’m going to offer a gemini mirror of my site. I am going to manually convert every fucking file in this site so your ass can see it in Gemini. I’m not going to double my work so you can read this shit. I already did that 3 years ago and it was a pain in the ass. Never again. Other sites literally will publish gemini exclusive content. Needless to say their grandma will read them. Not me.

Now, talking technically. There’s a problem with Gemini. What if the guy who develops this protocol gets hit by a bus? What if this dude decides that computers were a mistake and moves to the mountain? What would happen with gemini?. Again, this protocol has not been submited to the IETF. This makes gemini subject of change. This shit ain’t not even supported by main things (like Firefox, chrome or more niche software like wget) because there’s not even a draft standard. No one knows how to implement it. And no one is going to bother on writing a formal standards for a shit protocol created by a guy who misses gopher. There’s no standard port. There’s no standard media I mean, I can understand why someone would NOT want to talk to the IANA or the IETF. I cannot imagine how the Internet bureaucracy actually works. But like my English teacher used to say: “you’ve made your bed, now lie in it”

Oh but hold on! You can proxy your text from the “geminispace” to HTTP. Holy shit yes! I want my site to look like a generic Hugo site because I want it to be in the GEMINISPACE and only proxy it to the actual World Wide Web though another software so I can be elite. This is stupid. Why would someone do this unironically?

As theres also no CSS (and no JavaScript, but I simpathize with this actually) all websites look the same. So basically every website looks like it was designed (not even this because there’s no design) by the same person. And there’s nothing differencing your site from the site of a dude in Vietnam. If this looks good to you because “no bloat”. Congratulations man. You’ve left your jokes in the 2019-2021 arc of \/g\/.

I don’t know about Drew or other Gemini simpathizers. But I think I have things worth saying and worth reading. And as I think this. I want people to actually read my stuff and think about what they have read. This is impossible if I’m using the Gemini protocol, not because it is a bad protocol (in Gemtext a paragraph is a line so it is indeed garbage) but because no one uses it. Or have you ever prompted up a Gemini browser and did your everyday tasks on it? Have you ever accomplished something in Gemini? Have you ever read something interesting rather than a rant in Gemini? Of course you haven’t because there’s nothing worth reading in there. Just people ranting about JavaScript and how bloated the net has become. What they don’t know is that that style of website has existed since the 90s and.

The geminispace (and the internet itself) is like a big liminal space. There’s nothing to do in there. Just go to the next room and to the next room. In the hope you find your way out of this maze.

I’d talk about the Gopher protocol but it is as dead as dead. Literally no one using it. But unlike Gemini. Gopher is formally defined. This make it more attractive to organizations who cannot trust a dude in his room. :^)

They sold me the Gemini protocol as the future some years ago. Seems like it did not work because you do not see NPCs of life takling about the Gemini protocol like they did about NFTs or AIs. you know why? Because again, the internet does not move on goodness, but on money.